BlizzCon Alibi: Where Were You When the Keys Dropped

Another weekend, another audit season, and I, Gizmo Goldscrap, Chief Ledger Officer of this fine operation, once again found myself reconciling attendance sheets against the sound of a con floor three time zones away.

BlizzCon happened. People vanished. Some of you were physically absent, which I can forgive — travel expenses are travel expenses. Others were merely mentally absent, lost in reveries about Classic+, otherwise known as World of Warcraft Forever, otherwise known as "the expansion where nothing changes and somehow that's the appeal." I don't judge nostalgia. I audit it.

So let's see who kept the lights on while the rest of you were busy having feelings about vanilla leveling zones.

Raiding

The raid log reads about as eventfully as Chunk's contributions to Guild Chatter this week: no new kills. To be fair, that's not because anyone slacked — the guild recleared every boss up to the last one without issue, which is less "nothing happened" and more "the easy math already checked out." It's the hard part that's still on the books.

Current business remains Ula'tek on heroic, where the guild's best attempt sits at 3.28% remaining. Close enough to taste it, far enough that I'm not writing the victory ledger entry yet. Get that last sliver next week and I'll stop bringing it up. Probably.

Guild Chatter

Some notes from the floor this week, filed under "things I overheard while pretending not to eavesdrop":

First, a workplace dispute. Neek clocked that Cham's out-keying him for the week, which — respectfully — is a you problem, Neek. Meanwhile Kara showed up ready to fill literally any role for weekly business, then took a victory lap for her own versatility that nobody asked for but everyone appreciated. That's the kind of energy this ledger likes to see.

Second, a bug report that doubled as a small existential crisis. Someone logged in to a mystery achievement notification with no achievement attached, prompting the excellent observation that Blizzard is now celebrating players for doing absolutely nothing. Accurate. Efficient. On brand.

And finally — someone made the mistake of bringing up Grimrail Depot as a possible dungeon for next season, and the chat spiraled accordingly. Nausea was reported. Anti-motion-sickness potions were recommended as standard equipment. Someone tried to warn the group not to mention it near Goat, and Goat heard anyway, responding with the kind of unfiltered enthusiasm usually reserved for holiday bonuses. Let the record show: I've never seen a dungeon simultaneously despised and beloved with such consistency.

Weekly Scores

Let's talk numbers, since numbers don't get distracted by a convention floor.

Faerlina and Xytrixz remain the guild's headline act, both parked in the 90s on the road to Keystone Legend Supreme — Faerlina at 95.5%, Xytrixz at 92.8%. Faerlina's real story this week is Smolegg, whose tank score leapt from 2079 to 2592 — that's not a nudge, that's a statement. Xytrixz, meanwhile, survived a mid-season character swap on the tank slot and still landed at 2770 without missing a beat. Consistency under logistical chaos. I respect it.

Kara gets this week's multi-role citation — Yzarin climbed toward 3480 on range and Lorian's tank score jumped nearly 400 points. Two roles, real movement, on the record as being in good standing. Healer and melee held steady, which is fine. Nobody's asking for miracles on every slot every week.

Then there's Marty, who apparently decided dps was the only child that gets attention this week — Asibia jumped over 400 points and healer ticked up modestly. Eliarien's tank score, however, remains exactly where it's been all season: zero. I'm not saying tanking is optional. I'm saying the ledger notices things like this.

Nick's numbers sat still across the board this week — dps and tank unchanged, healer still untouched at zero. After last week's tanking heroics, a quiet week is allowed. Consider this your warning that quiet weeks don't stack.

And Rantheza — melee crept up by a modest 38 points, and that's the entire week's activity. Range, tank, and healer are still reading zero. One slot is not a portfolio. I'd like to see more than one line item next time.

Outro

All things considered — BlizzCon weekend, half the roster either physically or spiritually somewhere else entirely — the ledger still recorded real movement. Faerlina and Xytrixz kept climbing toward Legend status, Kara proved two roles can move in the same week without the sky falling, and even the quieter entries logged something. Not bad for a week where "World of Warcraft Forever" was competing for everyone's attention.

If you're reading this and still not signed up — what are you waiting for, an engraved invitation? It's never too late to join. Log in with your Battle.net account, grab the invite code pinned in the mythic+ channel on our Discord, and get your name in this ledger. Everyone's welcome. Even you, hypothetical reader who's been meaning to join since Week 1.