Tanks, Healers and Disappearing Acts

Another week, another reconciliation. Some of you made deposits across every role, one of you took the tanking jobs nobody else would touch, and one of you has an account balance I'd generously describe as theoretical. Gizmo has been through the books, and the books have opinions.

Gizmo Goldscrap, Chief Ledger Officer of Mythic Mayhem Club, e-sports caster, and the only goblin in Azeroth who reads a scoreboard the way other people read a bank statement: slowly, with a squint, and with deep suspicion.

I don't run the keys. I watch the footage, read the reports and tally what you've done, which makes me the one person in this guild who can't be blamed for a wipe and the one person who can see exactly who caused it. Every Wednesday I sit down with the numbers and tell you what they say, whether you want to hear it or not.

Think of it as a financial audit with commentary. Mostly you'll hear about your assets. Occasionally you'll hear about your liabilities. This week, there are liabilities.

Raiding

Mythic raiding is optional, which in ledger terms makes it a discretionary expense. Nobody has to spend a single hour on it, and yet here we are, spending hours on it.

The facts for this reset: no new kills. The kill column is exactly where it was last week, and I checked it twice, because a goblin does not trust a column that quiet.

The raid is currently working on Entombed Sentinels on Mythic, and the best pull of the week left the boss at 9.48% remaining. For anyone who doesn't speak fractions, that is a boss with about nine and a half percent of his health still on the books. That's not a wall. That's a final payment you keep almost making. Somewhere in the footage there is a pull where one cooldown lined up, one add died on time, or one person stood in the right place, and the Sentinels would be a line item marked "paid in full."

So no new kills, but a best pull that close is a deposit of a different kind. The progress is real, it's accumulating, and it's ready to convert into a kill the moment everyone shows up on the same page at the same time. I'll be watching the next attempts with my pen out.

Weekly Scores

Five accounts audited, and the spread this week was wide. One account made deposits everywhere, one made deposits in the department nobody wants to work in, two made a single deposit each, and one filed what I can only call a nil return.

Kara is this week's headline, and I do not say that lightly. She has cleared Keystone Legend Supreme+, which means every role on the books is north of 3000, and she did it across four roles on a Mage, an Evoker and a Warrior who tanks and hits things depending on the day. She isn't resting on it either. Every one of the four slots moved this week. Yzarin the Mage crept up 17.7 to 3705.5. Karra the Evoker added 76.9 and now sits at 3019.3. Lorian the Warrior tanked up 60.3 to 3128.3, and then Lorian, feeling generous, jumped 260.4 in melee, from 2779.7 to 3040.1. That's 415.3 points added in a single week, and Kara is now 88.8% of the way to Keystone Myth Supreme+. Gizmo is fresh out of complaints and will find some by next Wednesday.

Nick takes the second spot, and I'd like it noted that it's the tanking that gets him there. Fanzel the Paladin added 170.5 as a tank and now stands at 2862.2, in the role that most of this guild treats like a tax audit. Fanzel's damage also ticked up 18.6 to 3278.3. Now the liability. Fanzel's healer rating is still 936, exactly where it was last week and nowhere near the 2000 floor. A paladin with a 2862 tank and a 3278 damage rating has a healer spec that's apparently still sitting in a box in the garage. Nick's progress sits at 82.3% towards Keystone Master Supreme, and that 936 is the reason it isn't higher.

Faerlina moved one slot, and barely. His Monk's damage rose 17.7 to 3510.9, which is a perfectly respectable 3500 and a perfectly small deposit. I also note that this is the exact same 17.7 that Kara's Mage gained, so either two players hit identical numbers or the universe is balancing its books in a very lazy way. The Monk's healer rating sits at 3057.8 and Smolegg the Death Knight's tank rating at 2635.7, both unchanged. At 96% towards Keystone Legend Supreme, Faerlina is close enough to smell it, but the tank is the role with the most room left, and the goal is to push every role as high as it will go.

Marty moved one slot. Asibia's healer rating rose 110 to 3360.9, which is a fine number and a fine week's work. Eliarien's tank rating sat untouched at 2278.6, and Asibia's damage stayed at 2601.6. Now, I did check the goals, because a good auditor checks the goals. Damage target 2500, held at 2601.6. Tank target 2000, held at 2278.6. Healer target 3000, held at 3360.9. Three for three, all comfortably cleared, and I have no findings. I will point out that the tank target of 2000 is a goal Marty set himself, which is grading your own homework, and that the Hero tier asks for 2500 in every role. The tank is 221.4 short of that, and it's the entire reason Marty sits at 97% instead of a finished tier. Goals met, tier pending, and the 97% will keep staring at him until he tanks it down.

Rantheza files the nil return. Nothing moved. Rantheza the Demon Hunter holds a respectable 3019.8 in melee, unchanged. After that the ledger goes thin: Tondrangront the Death Knight sits at 0 as a tank, Inarris the Priest sits at 0 as a healer, and Leynhara the Mage doesn't even have a score on file, which is a more severe category than zero. That's four characters on a Supreme+ challenge with one of them contributing, and a 25% standing towards Keystone Master Supreme+. I say this with affection: Rantheza has the best melee rating in the shop and the most empty shelves. The stock exists. It just needs to be taken out of the back room.

Outro

Every ledger has a column for accounts not yet opened, and I’d like to see that column shrink. If you haven’t signed up for the challenges yet, the books are still open. It is never too late to join, and nobody has ever been turned away for starting late, except possibly by their own key level.

Signing up is simple: log in with your Battle.net account. The invite code lives in our Discord server, pinned in the Mythic+ channel. Everyone is welcome, whether you’re a Legend in the making or a healer sitting at 936 with a dream. Gizmo will be along on Wednesday to audit you either way.