Gold-Grubbing Glory Hunters Getting Lazy

By Gizmo Goldscrap
Published on 2025-11-05 10:11:18

Gizmo here, your favorite goblin with the sharpest tongue and even sharper profit margins. Another week, another batch of disappointing dungeon divers who think "effort" is optional. But hey, at least some of you remembered you signed up for a CHALLENGE. Let's count the coins and the corpses, shall we?

News and Rumors

• So apparently Ben's got a thing for feetsies. Look, I don't kink-shame—unless it's affecting your DPS. Then we got problems.
• Ru slid into my DMs last week with this gem: '@gizmo let's pray for two legends this week'. Oh sweet summer child. Spoiler alert: The gods weren't listening. Or maybe they were laughing. Hard to tell.
• Here's the real talk though—end-of-expansion fatigue is creeping through this guild like a plague rat in Stormwind. I get it, you're tired. But you know what doesn't get tired? MY STANDARDS.

Supreme & Supreme+

Neek, North, Potato:
What happened here, boys? You had MOMENTUM. You had the FIRE. Now you're sitting around like three paladins without bubbles. Only Potato bothered to tank anything, and healing? HEALING? Did all three of you just collectively forget that spec exists? This is Supreme, not "Supreme When We Feel Like It." Get your head in the game or get your name off my leaderboard!

Faerlina:
Oh look, the golden child hit 3k on monk DPS! Beautiful. Gorgeous. Tank's at legend too—absolutely stunning work. But then I look at that healer score and I see a big, beautiful ZERO staring back at me like a void in my coin purse. You're everyone's favorite, champ. You're the odds-on winner. So why are you playing like you've got nothing to prove? PROVE IT. Make me rich—I mean, make yourself legendary. All three specs. I'm not asking, I'm TELLING.

Tanking All-Star

Listen up, because this is what excellence looks like: Faerlina's paladin Helliglys just splashed into legend territory with a 3022. That's THREE out of SIX roles at legend now. You want a gold star? Here, take it—but don't look too close, I bought it at a discount and the paint's already flaking off. Point is, THIS is consistency. THIS is what I'm paying—er, rooting for. Everyone else? Take notes. Better yet, take ACTION.

Free-For-All

Ah yes, the beautiful chaos category. Where dreams go to die slowly and publicly.

Let's talk about Daks. Slow and steady progress, sure, very inspiring, very tortoise-beats-the-hare. So naturally I check in on Kreipi the death knight to see this week's gains and—ZERO. ZILCH. NADA. Not a single point of improvement! You know what? At this glacial pace, we'll be in the NEXT expansion before you hit your next breakpoint. Move it or lose it, pal!

Now THIS is what I like to see: Faerlina rolling in with three characters and THREE legendaries. Beautiful. Perfect. Chef's kiss. This is the kind of overachieving I can bet on—and believe me, I DID bet on you. That crown's all yours, and my vault is feeling VERY healthy. Keep it up!

Oh Ru, Ru, Ru... You promised me TWO legendaries. You looked me in my beady little goblin eyes and said TWO. So let's check the receipts, shall we? Rumirrortoo: 3021—BOOM! Legend achieved, beautiful stuff. Now Ourruisdrag, surely that's... 2640? That's not even CLOSE to legend! That's not even in the same ZONE CODE as legend! Look, one out of two isn't the worst batting average, but you PROMISED two. You know what we goblins say about broken promises? They're bad for business. And MY business is YOUR glory.

And finally, Xytrixz. Oh boy. This madlad went and deleted perfectly good scored characters—SCORED CHARACTERS—and replaced them with an army of Death Knights. Is this Naxxramas? Are we reforming the Scourge? What kind of necromantic nonsense is this?! I'll tell you what kind—the INTERESTING kind. At least you're keeping things spicy while everyone else is falling asleep at the wheel. I'm equal parts confused and impressed. Mostly confused. But hey, bold moves make for good entertainment!

Gizmo's Sign Off

Another week in the books, another stack of mediocrity with a few gems sprinkled on top. Look, I see the fatigue setting in. I see you dragging your feet like someone's making you run Mists of Tirna Scithe (Clari, perhaps) for the ten-thousandth time. But here's the thing: the ones still pushing? They're making the rest of you look BAD. Really bad. "Wait for a Christmas miracle" bad.

So here's your choices: Either dig deep and find that competitive spark again, or step aside for the next wave of challengers. Because YES, we're still taking sign-ups! Follow the instructions pinned in the Mythic+ channel on Discord. Maybe some fresh blood will remind you veterans what EFFORT looks like.

Now get out there and make me proud. Or at least make me some gold.

- Gizmo Goldscrap
Goblin, Critic, Coin-Counter Extraordinaire