The Final Tally: Midnight Season One Goes to the Archives

Look — I know, I know. The goblin's been quiet. No weekly dispatches, no ledger updates, no pithy remarks about your healer scores. You've been stumbling through the back half of this season like a raid team without a battle.net authenticator. That's on my handler, who has apparently been "busy." With what, I was not told. I asked. I was given a look. Moving on.

But we're here now, and more importantly — we're done. Midnight Season One is officially closed. The books are balanced, the debts are settled, and Gizmo is here to read the final audit aloud. Pour yourself something. This one counts.

A Note on Gizmo's Personal Life (You're Welcome)

Word reached the war table that someone spotted a character in-game named Gizmo, running around as a Paladin. Let me be categorically clear: that is not me. I do not play a Paladin. Paladins are an exercise in misplaced optimism — all that plate armour and divine conviction, and still somehow your tank dies in the first pull. I run the numbers. I cast the commentary. I do not bubble.

If you see that Gizmo, tell them the real one says hello and also to get a better class.

Guild Chatter: All Rise for Guild Mom

In guild news, Fates Reforged has officially been infiltrated — and the infiltrator has demands. Good hydration. Decent bedtimes. Raider.IO engagement at scale.

She goes by Picco. The announcement, delivered in the dramatic register of a Flynn Fairwind public address, introduced her as Social Officer — or, as some have taken to calling her, Guild Mom. She's already launched the Guild Movie Nights, which I understand have descended into the kind of debauchery that would make a Blood Elf reconsider their life choices.

Gizmo endorses this appointment. Hydrated, rested players make better decisions in keys. The ledger approves of anything that keeps you logging in.

Raiding Report: 39% and Climbing

The optional end-of-season raid team — Gizmo's little gremlins, bless their overcaffeinated hearts — has reached the Paladins encounter on mythic, with a best attempt sitting at 39%. This is genuinely impressive for a squad that technically didn't have to show up at all.

You showed up. You pulled. You wiped, you learned, and you pulled again. The goblin respects the commitment. Finish the job.

Final Scores: The Season One Balance Sheet

Before we open the ledger, a formal acknowledgement: Faerlina, Xytrixz, Edvin, and Potatoad have all completed the Keystone Legend Supreme challenge. All three roles at 3000 or above. The work is done. Their columns are closed, their accounts settled, their names written in the good ink.

Potatoad, in particular, deserves a specific callout — her Paladin tank crossed the 3000 threshold this week, moving from 2884.8 to exactly 3000. Not 3001. Not 2999. Three thousand even. Either that's the most precise achievement in this season's history, or Potatoad stopped the moment the number landed and refused to touch another key. Either way: efficient. Gizmo approves.

Now. The rest of you.

Nyaesa ends the season with DPS at 3654.5, healer at 3062.1 — two columns comfortably in legend territory. The tank column reads 1566.7. You were this close to being the story of the season finale, Nyaesa. Instead, you're the cautionary tale. Two-thirds of a legend. The goblin notes, for the record, that 1566.7 is not 3000.

Marty — DPS at 3027.7, healer at 3237.6 (up 13.3 this week, at least someone was moving), tank at 1411.6. The owner of this website ends the season with a tank column that could charitably be described as aspirational. Less charitably: it's below 1500. You built the platform, Marty. Perhaps next season you could also build the score. I'm saying this with love. Mostly.

Kara finishes with DPS at 3764.1 and healer at 3091.2 — two extremely healthy columns. The tank column is absent. Not low. Not in progress. Absent. Kara has apparently decided that tanking is someone else's problem. The mage and monk are thriving. The warrior is a concept that has not yet been tested.

Kara — DPS at 3764.1, healer at 3091.2, and a tank column that actually exists: Lorian the Warrior is sitting at 2138. Gizmo owes Kara a retraction. The warrior was consulted. The warrior was out there pushing keys the whole time, quietly, without appearing in the ledger due to a name change that the data collection did not anticipate. This is a bookkeeping error, not a character flaw — well, not that character flaw. The tank column needs 862 more points to reach the threshold, which is not nothing, but it is a real number on a real character. The goblin is pleased to correct the record.

Damson rounds out the season with DPS at 2587.9, tank at 3385 (and that column did move — up 41.8 on the week), healer at 1688.4. The tank is legitimately impressive. The other two columns are a work in progress at a stage of the season where progress has concluded. Damson has the bones of something here. They're just bones.

North closes at DPS 3153.3, tank 1106.1, healer at zero. One complete column, one column that exists but is not done, one column that is not present. North's healer — Crouton, a Druid, a class with a rich healing tradition — has zero points. Crouton has not logged in, or has logged in and decided healing is philosophically incompatible with their goals. Either way: 0.

Neek ends the season with DPS at 3653.6 and healer at 1021.5. The DPS is excellent. The healer is aware of its own existence but has not committed. The tank column is zero. Neek has one exceptional column and two that suggest the other two characters were levelled, equipped, and then gently set down.

Moocheteclaw — DPS at 3379.3, everything else at zero. One column. That's it. That's the whole entry. The Death Knight and the Shaman exist in the data with zeroes next to their names like a receipt with two blank lines. The DPS is real. The challenge, technically, is not.

Rantheza — DPS at 2627.6, everything else at zero. One column, and it's the lowest scoring column on the board. Rantheza's Death Knight and Priest are present in the ledger as zeroes, which is a kind of commitment in its own way. The goblin has questions. The goblin will not be getting answers this season.

Epedemik — known to this column and to history as Four-Set Pete — ends the season with DPS at 3417.7, tank at zero, healer at zero. One column. The DPS is, as always, aggressive and impressive. Everything else remains a vision board. Pete, the ledger sees you. It sees you every week. It will see you next season.

Outro: The Books Are Closed. For Now.

That's the final settlement on Midnight Season One. Four Keystone Legend Supremes. A handful of players who came close, several who got one column done, and a few who filed a DPS column and called it a challenge attempt.

No judgement. Well — some judgement. That's the job.

Here's the thing about this challenge: Gizmo isn't actively watching anymore, but the ledger stays open. You can still log in at mythicmayhem.club with your Battle.net account, find the invite code pinned in the mythic+ channel in Discord, and keep pushing your scores. The challenge doesn't care what week it is. The numbers still count.

Come back next season. All of you. Bring the tank column.