Masters Made, Zeros Exposed, Raids Cleared

By Gizmo Goldscrap
Published on 2025-09-03 09:57:55

Alright, grease-monkeys and keystone junkies, gather ‘round—Gizmo Goldscrap here with your Week 3 Update!

The Rules (for the three of you still pretending not to know)

• Keystone Master Supreme → 2000 rating in one (or more) challenges
• Keystone Hero Supreme → 2500 rating in one (or more) challenges
• Keystone Legend Supreme → 3000 rating in one (or more) challenges

Simple math: hit the number, get the shiny. Fail the math, get mocked by me.

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News & Rumors

Big guild news: Dimensius is down! That’s right, Ahead of the Curve secured. We even took a victory lap around his loot pile before remembering it was mostly garbage. But hey—progress is progress.

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Our First Batch of Keystone Masters!

Week 3 and the scoreboard’s already got some names carved into it. Let’s hand out the shiny hats:

• Catbab – Absolutely dominating Supreme and Supreme+. Melee, ranged, DPS—you name it, Catbab’s got the receipts. Free-For-All? Nah. That buffet’s for other people.
• Mooch (a.k.a. Machete/Drachete/Deathchete) – Mooch is out here running a whole family business of alts. DPS? Heals? Tanks? You name it, Mooch clawed it.
• Alex – Straight into Free-For-All with numbers that sting harder than a crit Arcane Blast. Respect.
• Xytrixz – Free-For-All menace with more alts than excuses. Monks, mages, demon hunters—if it’s playable, Xytrixz is scoring with it.

So there it is—the first wave of Keystone Masters. Some of you are in already, the rest of you better start pretending Mythic+ is cardio, ‘cause the bar’s only going higher from here.

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Supreme… But Only Just

Some folks smashed through DPS like it was nothing… and then promptly took a nap instead of touching heals or tanks. Let’s give ‘em a round of applause and a little kick in the shins:

• Neek – Nevyrah sitting cozy at 2705 DPS. Healer? Tank? Nowhere to be seen. What’s the matter, Neektharion and Balszac allergic to buttons?
• North – Northical’s got 466 DPS. Yes, four hundred. Sixty. Six. The healer and tank slots are so empty you can hear crickets chirping in them. Don’t worry North, I’ll totally stop mentioning it… eventually.
• Rantheza – Rantheza at 2794 DPS. Gorgeous score, shame about Inarris and Tondrangront collecting dust like old raid consumables.

So yeah, DPS heroes are cute, but this is Supreme, not “Supreme-ish.” Time to spread those wings—or shields, or heals—and prove you’re not just a one-trick pony.

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Supreme+ … Or Supreme+Lazy?

Here’s where things get really embarrassing. Supreme+ is supposed to test all four roles—melee, ranged, healer, tank. Instead, most of you look like you rage-quit halfway through character select.

• Marty – Unamithil at 2843 healer score, gorgeous. But melee, ranged, tank? Zilch. Did you forget you own other specs, or are you just role-playing as a healing-only NPC?
• Neek – Nevyrah flexing 2705 ranged DPS while melee, healer, and tank sit at zero. Don’t tell me Razanth and Balszac are on vacation already.
• North – Lucifearo at 1028 melee, Northical at 466 ranged. Healer and tank untouched. Look, North, I’ve seen AFK players do more with their alts.
• Rantheza – Rantheza at 2794 melee DPS—chef’s kiss—but Leynhara, Inarris, and Tondrangront are sitting there like decorative action figures still in the box.

Supreme+ ain’t a one-score wonder contest. You want the crown? Prove you can juggle specs without dropping ‘em on your toes.

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Free-For-All Frenzy

Big things happening here—scores climbing, alts popping up, people actually treating this challenge like the buffet it is. The leaderboard’s shifting faster than a goblin’s investment portfolio.

But… let’s talk about the “encouragement cases”:

• Daks – Liealer’s 2767 DPS is solid, but the healer and tank scores are so empty they’re echoing. Don’t make me rename this bracket “Free-for-One.”
• Iva – Sitting pretty at 2944 DPS, practically Legend, but the rest of your specs look like you stopped to take a nap mid-dungeon. Wake ‘em up!
• Potato – Potato’s 2698 DPS is baked just right. Coralina’s healer score is still undercooked, and Cement… well, the tank slot is living up to its name by being a brick wall of zero.
• Ru – Ruana’s 2856 DPS is a beast, but Zoeyix’s 158? That’s less a score and more a sneeze.
• Skirlink – Our first Free-For-All Legend at 3081 DPS—massive congrats. But healer and tank are still collecting dust like old expansion currencies. Don’t think I won’t notice, champ.

So yes, Free-For-All’s moving, shaking, and scoring—but don’t get comfy. If you’re on this list, consider this your official goblin kick in the rear.

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Healer All-Star

Some of you are patching wounds, others are patching excuses.

• Marty – Putting in the work: Unamithil at 2843, Asibia at 2159, Ellarien at 2160, even Zalvadora at 1343. That’s a full ward of progress, with Hanmorra and Dinagosa still asleep in the waiting room.
• Kat – Gnamethistle at 2959 is carrying so hard the rest of the healing squad could be replaced with actual houseplants and no one would notice. Amoothistle, Amethystle, Ivatotem, Thistlebear, Amestrasza—all zeros. All of them. Kat, at this point your “Healer All-Star” roster is basically Healer One-Star.

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Tank All-Star

Ah yes, the iron wall division. Or in some cases, paper walls.

• Faerlina – Faerlina (2960) and Dejauwu (2562) are charging headfirst into glory. Helliglys at 237 is at least holding a shield. Xepros, Smolegg, Storkatt? That’s three characters sitting at literal zero. You’ve got more dead weight here than a raid pug after the first trash pull.

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Don’t Forget

The challenge runs all season long. You can still sign up, still throw your scores in the ring, still get roasted by yours truly. All the info’s pinned right there in the M+ channel. No excuses—unless your excuse is “I’m scared of Gizmo,” in which case… fair.

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Gizmo Out

That’s Week 3, folks. Scores climbing, egos bruised, legends forged, and zeros mocked. Same time next week, unless I finally blow a gasket watching you all ignore your tank specs.

Now quit reading and go push some keys—this clipboard ain’t gonna fill itself.

— Gizmo Goldscrap