Somebody Finally Paid Their Tab

Week six of the Midnight Season 2 audit is closed, and for once the credits column has some healthy numbers in it. A few of you made real deposits. One of you is still running a very consistent line of zeroes.

Gizmo Goldscrap here. Chief Ledger Officer of Mythic Mayhem Club, caster of your keys, and the only goblin in Azeroth who reads your Mythic+ scores the way a bank reads a statement. Slowly, and with a growing sense of disappointment.

I don't run the dungeons. I watch the footage, tally the damage, and record every deposit and every default in the book. Some of you treat that book as a suggestion. It is not. In at least three goblin cartels it is a binding legal document, and I have the scars to prove it.

This week I have something rare to write down besides excuses. Somebody paid their tab, and paid it well past the minimum. Others made deposits worth noting. And one account has been so quiet that I've started checking whether it was closed without my signature.

Let's audit.

Guild Chatter

Before the numbers, a correction for the record. Last week's audit went out under a Week 3 headline. It was Week 5. The error was found by the club's own co-founder, who reported it in the guild chat with the words "Holy... I should start drinking coffee." Noted, Marty. In this ledger that is called a confession.

Xytrixz was the next to speak up. He had looked at the headline and wondered whether it was really only week three, and then described it as the longest three weeks of his life. I'll accept that as a testimonial. Two extra weeks of Mythic+ that nobody had accounted for would explain the tiredness.

Marty then floated the theory that it was a rounding error. It was not. Rounding turns 3.4 into 3. It doesn't turn 5 into 3, unless the books are being kept by someone who has skipped his coffee, which is now an admitted fact.

The figure has been corrected. It is Week 6, and the headline no longer carries a number at all. You can't misprint what isn't printed. That is called risk management, and I'd like it noted that the goblin found the loophole before the coffee did. I have also counted on my fingers twice. Both hands. Nothing left over.

Now for an entry I am genuinely pleased to record. Elyn has become a news writer for Icy Veins. The guild chat filled with praise and congratulations today, and for once I have nothing to audit, dispute or roast.

This is a real promotion, from the club's private books to the ones the entire community reads. Every player who has ever wondered what changed in a patch will now be reading Elyn's work. As a fellow member of the Azerothian press, I extend professional courtesy. As Chief Ledger Officer, I note that it is a career move with a strong return, and I expect the club's name to be mentioned somewhere in the acknowledgments.

Congratulations, Elyn. Try not to let the deadlines audit you.

Weekly Rant

The books moved by roughly 3,800 rating points this week across five accounts. Nearly half of that belongs to one man, and I'll get to him. The sixth account contributed nothing.

Marty. Asibia's damage score went from 1064 to 2601.6, a deposit of 1,537.6 points and the largest single entry in the ledger. Eliarien's tank slot added 323.2, and the healer slot moved 11 points, which I'm recording as a courtesy. Every role moved, across two characters, so the co-founder is in good standing. Eliarien's 1259.2 is still well under the 2000 floor, though, so call it good standing on probation. Last week this man couldn't find a five. This week he found fifteen hundred points. Either the coffee arrived or the paladin did.

Faerlina leads the board at 96 percent toward Legend Supreme. The monk's damage rose 168.5 to 3493.2, and Smolegg the Death Knight added 43.2 on tank, reaching 2635.7. The healer slot sat at 3057.8, untouched. Two roles moving on two characters is what I like to see. Smolegg is also the lowest number in his book, in case anyone at the top of the table is looking for the shortest route up.

Kara is at 93.7 percent in the Supreme+ bracket, which means four roles and three characters, so there is plenty of paperwork here. Lorian's melee climbed 81.8 to 2717.2, a proper entry. Yzarin's mage moved from 3559.1 to 3562.5. That is 3.4 points. Marty, that is a rounding error. Tank and healer stayed flat.

Xytrixz posted the biggest single-role jump of the week: tank from 2238 to 3198.7, a gain of 960.7. The slot changed hands, with Xytrixzdk out and the Paladin in, so I've booked the gain but noted the transfer. Call it a deposit with a clerical footnote. His damage at 3063 and his healer at 2585.7 sat still, and he now trails Faerlina by 0.6 percentage points. That is the closest race on the board, and the top three, Faerlina, Xytrixz and Kara, are separated by 2.3 points in total.

Nick ran three roles on one paladin, Fanzel, and moved two of them. Damage rose 627.2 to 3024.7, and tank added 61.7 to reach 2557.7. Tanking is the role this guild avoids like an unpaid invoice, so that one earns a line of its own. The healer slot is still 936, which is where it was last week and where it will stay until Fanzel decides to work all three jobs he is being paid for. One character, one healer slot on unpaid leave. Nick and Marty now sit in the Master bracket with 82.3 and 87.7 percent, and each has one weak role holding the average down.

Rantheza sits at 25 percent. Four slots, four characters, and one of them has a score. The demon hunter's 3019.8 melee is the same figure as last week. Tondrangront and Inarris show zero, and Leynhara's mage line isn't even a zero. It is blank, the ledger equivalent of an empty envelope. I'd ask whether he's still alive, but the melee score proves he was at some point. A four-person payroll is being carried by one employee, and he took the week off.

Outro

A new patch is around the corner, and World of Warcraft Forever is on the horizon. Both are very shiny, and both are distractions. The season is still open, the balances are still live, and every point you don't earn this week is a point you have to earn later, at a time you haven't budgeted for. Nobody has ever paid off a tab by looking at the next one.

So finish what you started. Still, the sooner the better. Rumors in this business have a habit of arriving before the paperwork does, and I would hate to see anyone caught mid-key when the calendar changes.

If you haven't signed up yet, you're not too late. The books are open and a new line item costs nothing. Log in with your Battle.net account and find the invite code pinned in the Mythic+ channel in our Discord server. Everyone is welcome. Bring a healer, or become one. Some of you know exactly who I mean.