Tosey Wosey and the Case of the Missing Rating

The books are open, the invite code has been changed, and the guild still has no agreed motto. Raid progress, score movements and the kind of chatter that never makes it into an official ledger are all audited below, whether you like it or not.

Good day, valued clients and delinquent accounts. I am Gizmo Goldscrap, Chief Ledger Officer of Mythic Mayhem Club, goblin by birth, caster by trade, and the only one in this guild whose opinion of your rating comes with receipts. I watch the runs, I read the numbers, and I say out loud what everyone else is too polite to type in the group chat. Think of it as tough love with an itemized invoice. Nothing personal. Everything documented.

Raiding

Raiding is entirely optional on Mythic this season, which means everything on this page is voluntary spending. I respect that. Nobody was forced to open a tab at that particular tavern.

Nymrissa Wavecaller has been written off the books on Mythic. Paid in full, receipt stamped, and I'm told the tide-callers had no further objections.

Entombed Sentinels remains outstanding. The best pull so far left the Sentinels at 52.36% remaining, which in accounting terms means the guild has settled just under half the debt and is now staring at the other half. It's a respectable deposit. It is not a closed account. Between you and me, the gap from "52%" to "dead" is where guilds either find their rhythm or find new hobbies, and the footage suggests this one still has plenty of rhythm left to find.

The interest keeps compounding on that remaining balance, so I'd advise bringing flasks.

Guild Chatter

The chat logs were forwarded to my desk this week, and I have to say, the paperwork was thrilling.

It began when Marty shared the homemade todo list system he built for himself. A practical contribution, well organized, and naturally the conversation drifted straight past it and into the question of what the guild's motto should be. Productivity tools have that effect on people. You hand them a list of tasks and they start drafting slogans.

Then came the invoice dispute. Tikas92 arrived asking for an invite code, a perfectly reasonable request from a prospective client. Cham supplied one: "toseywoseys." Tikas92 tried it. It did not work. This is what we in the trade call a defective product, and Cham responded the way every great customer service department does, by escalating the joke instead of fixing the problem. Tosey Wosey, Cham declared, should be the guild motto at this point.

The motion was put to the floor. Ben delivered a swift and economical ruling, with no deliberation and no appeal: “No.”

Under normal parliamentary procedure, that would have closed the matter. But Marty holds the keys to the vault, and Marty has a flair for the executive order. He changed the invite code to "toseywoseys." The bad code became the good code, retroactively, which is the most creative piece of record-correcting I've seen since a certain goblin quietly rewrote a client's balance.

The motto motion was formally denied. The invite code was formally amended. I leave it to the membership to decide how long a guild can say "no" to something it has literally put in the front door.

Weekly Scores

I audit in order of virtue. Those who moved go first, and those who didn't get the long, affectionate paragraphs at the end.

First, the shape of the board. Four accounts are within sight of a title, and the pack is tight. Kara leads at 97.7% towards Keystone Legend Supreme+, with Marty close behind at 97% towards Keystone Hero Supreme. Faerlina sits at 96% and Xytrixz at 95.4%, both towards Keystone Legend Supreme. Different titles, so nobody gets to call it a photo finish, but four people are hovering just short of a framed certificate, and I'd like to see someone actually collect one.

Kara had the cleanest week on the books. Three slots moved, on three different characters. Yzarin's mage went from 3644.4 to 3687.8, Lorian's melee warrior from 2717.2 to 2779.7, and Karra's Evoker healer added a round 100, from 2842.4 to 2942.4. Only the tank slot sat out, parked at 3068. That's 205.9 points of fresh income across three roles, which is exactly the diversification I like to see on a statement. The melee line is now the lowest figure Kara holds, and I'll be watching it with interest.

Marty runs this establishment, which creates a conflict of interest I intend to ignore completely. Eliarien the Druid moved from 1950.3 to 2278.6 on tank, a gain of 328.3 and the biggest single jump of the week, in a role most of this guild treats like a contagious condition. That clears Marty's own tank target of 2000 with room to spare. The Paladin's healing went from 3248.8 to 3250.9, a gain of 2.1 points. I'm filing that under "technically a deposit." The healer target of 3400 is still 149.1 away, and the DPS sits untouched at 2601.6. I can only assume the todo list had a tank item on it and somebody ticked it off.

Nick is where the audit turns stern. All three slots belong to the same Paladin, Fanzel, and only the DPS moved, from 3203.6 to 3259.7. That's a gain of 56.1 in the role that was already the strongest on the sheet. The tank sits at 2691.7. I praised it last time, and it appears to have taken that as permission to retire. The healer is still at 936, which is 1064 below the 2000 floor and sits there like an invoice from a previous fiscal year. That one line is the entire reason Nick is at 82.3% and not 100. A Paladin can heal, it's in the contract, and Fanzel has simply not been asked.

Xytrixz has built a nicely spread portfolio: the Paladin on DPS, Xytrixzm the Monk on healing, and now Xydemon the Demon Hunter in the tank slot. The ledger shows that slot jumping from 0 to 3245.9, but I don't book transfers between accounts as income. The slot simply changed hands from the Paladin to Xydemon, though I'll admit it's the strongest tank figure on this board, so it was a good transfer. The only genuinely new money was 7 points on the Paladin's DPS, from 3063 to 3070. I have found larger sums behind sofa cushions. The healer stayed put at 2585.7.

Faerlina didn't move a single number. Monk DPS at 3493.2, Monk healing at 3057.8, Smolegg tanking at 2635.7, all identical to the decimal. I checked twice. I even squinted. It's a magnificent balance sheet that nobody has opened in a week, and Smolegg has apparently taken up permanent residence at the bottom of it.

Rantheza brings us to the most interesting piece of fiction on the roster. There are four slots and four characters: Leynhara the mage, Rantheza the Demon Hunter, Tondrangront the Death Knight and Inarris the priest. Only one of them holds a rating, Rantheza's 3019.8, and it hasn't moved. Tondrangront and Inarris sit at a flat zero. Leynhara isn't even at zero, because the system declines to put any number at all against that name. One slot out of four gives you exactly 25%, which is what the tracker says. The Case of the Missing Rating is closed, and the culprit is a mage.

Outro

It's patch day, which means a new raid boss has been added to the catalogue and a fresh loot table has been added to the assets column. Go and collect it. Better gear makes for higher keys, higher keys make for better ratings, and better ratings make for a ledger I can read without wincing. That last part is, I'll admit, entirely selfish.

And if you haven't signed up yet, the books are still open. It's never too late to join. Log in with your Battle.net account and you're on the register. The invite code is pinned in the mythic+ channel on our Discord server, and I'm reliably informed it works now. Everyone is welcome, whether you're sitting at 3000 or staring at a healer rating of 936.

The ledger is open, and the balance is waiting. Don't make me come and collect.