Gizmo's Back, Baby! (And You Better Have My Money... I Mean, My Keys!)

By Gizmo Goldscrap
Published on 2025-10-15 10:58:36

Well, well, well! Your favorite goblin caster is back in the business, and let me tell you - it's been a rough couple of weeks!

So there I was, minding my own business, counting my gold and watching you lot fumble through dungeons, when I get the call. My cousin Sparkfizzle decided to "experiment" with his new rocket boots inside his workshop. Inside. The. Workshop. You know what happens when you combine rocket fuel, a low ceiling, and goblin confidence? Let's just say half of Booty Bay needed renovations, and your boy Gizmo had to go play damage control!

Insurance adjusters, structural engineers, very angry bruisers - it was a nightmare! And don't even get me started on explaining to the Blackwater Raiders why there was a goblin-shaped hole in three different buildings!

But I'm back now, and I got a lot of catching up to do! So let's talk rules, because apparently some of you forgot how this works while I was gone!

---

The Rules (In Case Your Healer Let You Stand in Fire Too Long and You Forgot)

Listen up, because Gizmo's only gonna say this once - okay, that's a lie, I'll say it a thousand times because some of you got the memory of a goldfish in a blender! Here's how you make Gizmo proud (and more importantly, how you win):

Keystone Master Supreme (2000 Rating) - The "Congratulations, You've Discovered Your Keyboard Has More Than Three Buttons" achievement! Get that sweet 2k rating in one or more of our challenges, and maybe - just maybe - Gizmo will stop calling you a keyboard turner!

Keystone Hero Supreme (2500 Rating) - Now we're talking! This is where the real players separate themselves from the "I pulled that pack by accident" crowd! Hit 2500 in our challenges and prove you actually know what your interrupt button does!

Keystone Legend Supreme (3000 Rating) - The big kahuna! The cream of the crop! The "I Actually Read My Tooltips" tier! Get 3k rating and Gizmo might actually learn how to pronounce your name correctly! Might!

Simple, right? Even a trogg could understand it! Okay, maybe not a trogg. But you can! Now let's talk about what you clowns have been up to while I was gone!

---

News, Rumours, and Why Gizmo's Eye is Twitching

Alright, so Gizmo's been gone for what, two weeks? And in that time, apparently the entire M+ scene decided to take a vacation! I'm looking at my dashboard, I'm checking the leaderboards, and you know what I see? Tumbleweeds! Digital tumbleweeds!

Where are you people?! I leave for five minutes to deal with family drama, and suddenly everyone's off playing in Legion Remix?! Legion Remix?! What is this, nostalgia hour? "Oh look at me, I'm doing content from 2016, aren't I quirky?"

Listen, I get it. Shiny new... well, shiny old content is tempting! But that ain't paying Gizmo's bills! That ain't putting your names on my leaderboards!

And speaking of leaderboards - oh, oh oh! I did catch wind of something interesting! My boy Bigdps out here running a +30! A thirty! Gizmo nearly choked on his rocket fuel! I'm thinking, "Hot diggity, finally someone with some hustle!"

Then I look closer. Remix keys. Remix. Keys.

Bigdps! Buddy! Pal! Friend! Those don't count! That's like showing up to a drag race in a go-kart and asking for a trophy! I mean, I'm impressed by the audacity, but come on! Get those numbers in real keys, then we'll talk!

But! There is some spicy news! Right before Gizmo had to abandon ship and deal with the Sparkfizzle Disaster of 2024, a new name popped up on my radar! A contender! A dark horse!

Her name? Nyaesa.

Oh yes, yes, yes! Fresh meat! I been dying to dig into what this player's been cooking! And we're gonna do exactly that in just a bit! Trust me, folks - you're gonna wanna stick around for this breakdown!

But first, we gotta see if anyone else remembered that Mythic+ exists! Stay tuned, this goblin's got stories to tell!

---

Supreme and Supreme+ - What a... Let Down

Alright, let's dig into the main event. The Supreme and Supreme+ challenges. The place where legends are made and... well, where most of you are apparently taking a nap.

Epedemik - Death Knight? Still zero. Still. Zero. And your healer? Gone up a whopping 40 rating. Forty! That's not progress, that's a rounding error! What are you doing over there, buddy? Admiring the login screen?

Faerlina - No healer rating. Still?! You used to be Gizmo's favorite! Used to be! Now you're just breaking my little goblin heart. Where's the fire? Where's the passion? Where's literally any number above zero?

Mooch - No big change. Next!

Neek - Okay, okay, congrats on legend on the hunter. That's some solid dps work, I'll give you that. But where are those healer and tanking scores? Zero?! You got two whole roles just collecting dust! What, you forget they exist?

North - Same story! Congrats on legend on the demon hunter, that's some spicy dps action. But you've completely forgotten the other two roles exist! It's like watching someone win a pie-eating contest and then refuse to touch the other two pies on the table!

Potato - Finally! Some actual progress! Now this is what Gizmo likes to see! Borhild the warlock up from zero to 1162, your Death Knight tanking score jumped all the way up to 2155 - Keystone Master secured, baby! No evoker healing score yet, but hey, you're actually trying multiple roles like the challenge intended! You are a serious "New Favorite" contender, my friend!

Rantheza - Probably yeeted himself off an edge somewhere. Typical Demon Hunter behavior. If I had a gold coin for every time a DH player discovered gravity the hard way...

Xytrixz - Death Knight legend? Beautiful. But that monk healer and demon hunter tank are still just sitting pretty in Keystone Master territory. Come on! You got the skills, now spread 'em around!

---

Tanking All-Star - Where the Tough Get Going

Faerlina! Okay, okay, I'm sorry if I was harsh back in Supreme. I just saw the tanking numbers and... wow. Keystone Master with all six tanking specs! All six! And two of them already legends? You're still my favorite! This is what I'm talking about! You out here collecting tank specs like they're pokemon cards!

Xytrixz has also been busy tanking. Two Keystone Heroes secured. Fine, fine. You are doing well too. I see you out there putting in the work. Respect.

---

Healer All-Star - Keep Those Health Bars Green

Marty - All seven specs of Keystone Master secured weeks ago. And just 4 rating off legend on the holy priest? That's some consistency right there! Now, Gizmo knows you've been busy with your mom and her hospitalization, so you get a pass. For now. Family first, keys second. But when you're back? I expect that legend!

Kat? One legendary monk healer, and the other five classes? Zeroes. Just a lil druid score sitting at 1145. One. Legendary. That's it! I expected more from you! You got the skills on that monk, now show me you can spread the love! Those other specs ain't gonna heal themselves!

---

The Free-For-All - Where Things Get Spicy

Alex, you magnificent beast. Three characters sitting at Keystone Hero or better! Sykke the mage crushing it at legend with 3073, Myxira the monk at 2577, and Croxxie the warrior at 2633. I'm sitting here ready to give you the gold medal, and then what do I see? A sneaky fourth character. A paladin. Just chilling at 2086 in Keystone Master territory. Listen, I appreciate the ambition, but you were perfect with three! Now you've spread yourself thin and I'm less impressed. Focus up and finish strong!

Daks, oh Daks. Hunter's looking good, I'll give you that. But the Death Knight? I had to squint at my screen to see that 164 rating. One hundred and sixty-four! Did you time one measly +2 and call it a day? That's not progress, that's a participation trophy!

Faerlina! Back again with more reasons why you're my favorite! Free-For-All Keystone Hero achieved across monk, Demon Hunter, and Paladin. Two of those sitting pretty at legend. You're not just playing the game, you're dominating it. Favorite person status? Locked in!

Iva! When Gizmo left town, your character bars looked like a fresh snowfield - nothing but white. Now? Color everywhere! Scores popping up left and right! You're still a ways from completing the challenge, but the hustle is real. You're my favorite underdog right now (but don't tell North I said that).

Kat and the katpack - five monks, and you're actually making it work! One legend, two Keystone Heroes, one climbing toward Master, and... one zero. Alright, four out of five ain't bad. You clearly know your way around a monk. But remember what I said in Healer All-Star? Those other healer specs are looking mighty lonely.

Neek! Okay, okay, I see you trying to redeem yourself after that Supreme showing. Three characters at Keystone Master - hunter, warlock, and rogue all putting in work. You're starting to impress this goblin after all. Just a bit, though. Don't let it go to your head!

North, you're doing fine in FFA. One legend, one hero, one master. Solid work! But that mage? Still standing in the back wondering which button makes the pretty lights happen? Give that poor character some attention!

Nyaesa, the mystery contender! So here's the question - should Gizmo be impressed or concerned? Your evoker at 2688 is looking spicy, that warlock at 2044 ain't bad either. But then the shaman's limping along at 1314, and the mage... 632? What happened there? Did you forget the mage existed halfway through a dungeon?

Potato coming in hot with two legends down! Hunter and priest are done and dusted. Now you've just got that monk sitting at 2645, so close to legend Gizmo can practically taste it. One more push and you'll have the triple crown!

Ru! Three hunters, three different achievement tiers. One hero, one master, one legend. That's some dedication to the class right there! Most people can barely gear one hunter, and you're out here running a whole pack!

SimplyEdvin with the shaman legend looking clean. Demon Hunter's sitting comfy at Master. But that monk with the big fat zero? Yeah, not all characters can be winners. Maybe it's time to delete that one and pretend it never happened.

Skirlink, that mage at 3418 is absolutely gorgeous! That's the kind of number that makes Gizmo's greedy little heart sing! But uh... we're not gonna talk about the other characters, are we? Didn't think so.

Xytrixz's army is on the march! One big legend leading the charge, two masters holding the line, and one hero bringing up the rear. The real question is - can they all hit legend? Or is this where the wheels come off? Time will tell!

---

---

Still Want In? Sign Up!

Listen up! It's not too late to throw your name in the ring and join this circus of dungeon-running maniacs. You think you got what it takes? You think you can handle Gizmo's commentary and the pressure of seeing your name on these leaderboards?

Then get yourself over to the mythic+ channel and check the pinned message. All the info you need is right there. Sign up, pick your challenge, and show me what you're made of!

---

Well folks, that's all the chaos Gizmo's got time for today!

It's good to be back behind the desk, even if half of you decided to take a vacation while I was gone. But hey, I see some of you putting in real work - Faerlina, Potato, Alex, and the rest of you actually trying to impress me. Keep it up!

To everyone else sitting on those zeros and barely-there ratings? Legion Remix ain't gonna last forever. Those real keys are waiting for you, and so is Gizmo. Time to get back in there and give me something worth writing about!

Remember - time is money, friends, and you're wasting both by not running keys!

Until next time, this is Gizmo Goldscrap signing off. Now get back in those dungeons before I come find you myself!

-Gizmo

P.S. - Alex, I haven't forgotten about that missing healer rating. Don't think you can distract me with all those alts!