Gizmo's Weekly Mythic+ Beat-Down (Let-Down Edition)

By Gizmo Goldscrap
Published on 2025-10-22 09:49:41

GIZMO'S WEEKLY MYTHIC+ BEAT-DOWN

Yo yo yo, it's ya boy Gizmo Goldscrap comin' at ya live from the championship desk!

Happy vault day, heroes! And I use that term very loosely for some of you. Because let's be real—have you actually been running keys this week? Or did I catch you red-handed farming transmog in Legion Remix like it's a fashion show instead of push week?

I see those "busy" Discord statuses. I see everything.

But hey, maybe—just maybe—today's the day you remember you signed up for challenges. You know, those things that require you to actually, I dunno... do keys?

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THE RULES (Since Apparently Some of Y'all Forgot)

Listen up, greenhorns! Here's what you're supposed to be doing instead of collecting battle pets:

• Keystone Master Supreme – Hit 2000 rating in one (or more) of the challenges. This is the bare minimum. My grandma could do this, and she doesn't even have opposable thumbs.

• Keystone Hero Supreme – 2500 rating, baby! Now we're talkin'. This is where the wannabes get separated from the actually-competent players.

• Keystone Legend Supreme – 3000 rating. The big leagues. The cream of the crop. The place where legends are born and excuses go to die.

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NEWS, RUMOURS, AND GIZMO'S HOT TAKES

Alright, gather 'round the campfire, children. Papa Gizmo's got some tea to spill:

Marty finally did it! That magnificent priest-playing maniac Unamithil just crossed the 3000 rating threshold! Pop the champagne! Someone get this man a trophy! Marty, you absolute legend—you've restored my faith in this guild by at least 3%. Maybe 4%.

Turbo Boost drops today! That's right, the affixes just got a whole lot spicier. Which means you've got zero excuses now. Turbo Boost should mean turbo ratings. Not turbo excuses. Not "turbo my ping was bad." Turbo. Ratings. You feel me?

Role Roulette is back! Oh, you didn't know? The achievements for timing +10s with each role are back in the game! Tank, healer, DPS—gotta do 'em all! So unless you wanna be a one-trick pony forever, maybe it's time to dust off that tank spec you keep saying you'll learn "eventually."

Hint hint. Nudge nudge. Do I gotta spell it out in crayon?

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SUPREME AND SUPREME+

Alright, let me pull up the leaderboards here... squints at screen ...and I gotta say, I had to zoom in about a hundred times just to see if anything actually changed this week. You know what I found? Almost nothing. Nada. Zilch.

It's almost like everyone decided that Legion Remix and Pokemon were more important than, oh I don't know, the challenges you signed up for? The ratings look about as stale as week-old bread, folks.

If I have to update something—and trust me, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here—I can report that Marty has pulled his Supreme+ team out of the race entirely. So congrats on that, I guess? One less competitor for the rest of you to worry about.

As for everyone else? Close to zero improvement. And I mean close to zero. Some of you moved up like 5 rating points. Wow. Incredible. Really pushin' the limits there, champ.

Look, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. Actually, no—I'm a little mad. You've got Turbo Boost, you've got time, you've got perfectly good keyboards that aren't gonna press themselves. What's the holdup?

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TANK AND HEALER ALL-STAR

Gizmo leans back in his chair and cups his hand to his ear

Hello? Anyone there?

crickets chirp in the distance

Yeah, that's what I thought. Absolutely nothing to report here, folks. Not a single tank or healer stepped up this week to make any noise in the All-Star challenge.

You know what's wild? Tanks and healers are literally in the highest demand right now. You could sneeze your way into a group. And yet here we are, with a leaderboard so empty it echoes.

I'd roast you harder, but honestly? There's nothing to roast. Can't burn what doesn't exist.

Maybe next week someone—anyone—will remember this challenge exists. But I'm not holding my breath.

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FREE-FOR-ALL

Wait, hold up—I spot something! Look at that! Nyesa's warlock Nyaesaw sitting pretty at 2997 rating!

So close to legendary you can practically taste it! Just three measly points standing between you and glory, Nyesa. Three. Points.

I salute you, my friend. Seriously. You're out here showing everyone else how it's done while they're busy... well, not doing it. Thanks for actually giving me something to write about that isn't just tumbleweeds and excuses.

Now finish the job and cross that 3000 threshold! You're right there! Don't make me come back next week and see you still at 2997 because you decided to take a "break" or something ridiculous like that.

The rest of you? Take notes. This is what effort looks like.

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GIZMO'S OUTRO

Look, I get it. New games, shiny distractions, maybe your dog ate your mouse—I've heard it all. But here's the thing: these challenges aren't gonna complete themselves, and that vault you're so excited about on Wednesdays? It's a whole lot emptier when you don't actually run keys.

Marty showed you it's possible. He dragged himself across that 3000 finish line on Unamithil, and if he can do it, so can the rest of you slackers.

So here's your homework for the week: Log in. Queue up. Push some keys. Shock me. Surprise me. Make me actually have something to write about next week that isn't just crickets and disappointment.

And hey, if you're sitting there thinking "maybe I should get in on this"—yes, you should! You can still sign up! All the details are pinned in the mythic+ channel. Assuming you still play the game, that is.

Until next week, this is Gizmo Goldscrap signing off. Now get out there and make me proud. Or at least make me less embarrassed to be your caster.

mic drop